The Filter That's Keeping Smart People Stuck

 You probably know someone, maybe it's you,  who has everything it takes but keeps hitting the same wall. 

It's not a talent gap. It's not even a knowledge gap. It's something most success psychology conversations never actually get to: the invisible filter your subconscious runs to keep your life feeling familiar. 

In this episode, I get into why high achievers tend to feel off when things finally go right. Why you can work 80 hours a week for less than you made before and still convince yourself it's the brave move. And why the smarter you are, the harder it is to see any of this happening. 

I share what this looked like in my own life moving from accounting to real estate and hitting the same wall in a different room and what finally started to shift things. 

This is where identity shift meets success psychology. Not the tactical stuff. The real stuff underneath. 

If you've ever felt the gap between who you know you are and where you actually are, this one's for you.

If this episode sparked something in you, share it with a woman who needs to hear it.

DM me "stuck" if you're doing everything right but can't break past a certain level.

Connect with Desi Batista: 

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1:1 Clarity Call: https://calendly.com/desibatista/30min

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Transcript

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If you look at the most successful people in your life, they're usually not the smartest, not the brightest, the smart ones, the disciplined ones, the ones that know it all. Most of the times, are they the ones that are at the top? Are they the most successful ones? Many of them aren't. They're not at the top, they're not even close. And that's not random. And there's a real reason why some of them stay stuck, even though they're capable, even though they're smart. And it has nothing to do with talent or work ethic. Most people think that their brain is helping them look for opportunities. And most of the times it's not, it's really not. Your brain is filtering for reality, it's filtering for what is safe, or better yet, it's filtering for threats. It's looking, it's scanning for threats, making sure you're not in it in any danger. It looks for what feels familiar. And it anything else becomes a threat. Not what's true, not what's possible, not even what's best for you. Now, it only does what matches the story you already believe about yourself. Think of it like a thermostat. You know, if you set your room to 70, your thermostat will always try to get to that point, right? The system will keep pulling you back to 70. Same thing goes with your mind. It has a set point for what feels normal for you, for me, your income, your confidence, your lifestyle, the business, anything, your relationships, what you accept for yourself. And every decision you make pulls you back to that level, up or down. It pulls you back to it. So here's the key part your brain isn't trying to help you grow, right? It's trying to keep things consistent, it's trying to stay in the pattern, right? What's predictable? Anything else, it's not, it will be seen as a threat, you know. And back in the Hunter days, you know, that was great. It still is. Not when you're trying to build. Now, here's where it gets uncomfortable. The more capable you are, the smarter you are, the easier it is for you to stay stuck. Because you're smart enough to justify it. Now, if we look at children, children don't overthink, right? They just know what they want and they go after it. They fail, they try again, they fail, they try again. And there's no story attached. They're not, oh no, I can't do this. I already failed three times. I can't walk, right? They just keep trying till they get it. Till they get what they want. I think about even when a kid wants something, they're persistent. Man, kids are persistent, aren't they? Like they know they can get it, they know it's there. So they just keep trying, you know, till what happens. Till we start telling children, or till parents start telling the children, you need to stop asking, stop being greedy, stop wanting too much. And these are the stories that attach to you as adults that travel with you. And depending on the environment you continue to put yourself in, they're either gonna reinforce this or they're gonna fight it. But you, right? You have the stories. You have those stories attached to you. You've built a whole identity over time, and some of that might include early conditioning. That's not your fault. Beliefs about what you deserve, about what you don't deserve, what's realistic, what's greedy, what's okay, what kind of life is suitable for someone like you. So when something bigger shows up, your brain doesn't say, ah, this is great. This is the opportunity I've been looking for. It says, This doesn't feel familiar, this does not feel like me. It starts finding ways to get out of it. And because you're intelligent, because you're smart, you don't reject it in an obvious way. You don't say, No, I'm not gonna do that because I'm scared or because it's not what I'm used to doing. No, you come up with a really, really good reason why you can't. You get a better job, but you feel somehow that you're unworthy. You feel out of place. So, what do you do? You overwork, you overprove, you second guess yourself over and over and over, or you leave whatever project you started and start something completely new. You work twice as much, make less money, and then you tell yourself it's freedom. Sometimes it is, but sometimes it's just your brain keeping you in what is familiar with a story that sounds so good that you believe it, and even the people around you. I've lived this and I kept changing paths, thinking the next thing will feel different, it'll be better here. I'm finally gonna make it. Accounting, real estate, new environments. Same feeling, different setting, and it felt frustrating, but I didn't know what I was doing, right? And then I finally started my own business, and I was like, this is it, because this is what I've always wanted to do. I worked more, made less, made zero for a long time, as a matter of fact. But I told myself it was worth it because it was mine, and it's true, and I still do wholeheartedly believe that it's totally worth it because it's mine, and all the struggles that I've gone through, they are absolutely worth it, and I will do them all over again if that's what it takes. And that is exactly what it took. Now, when I started my business, what I didn't see at the time, because I thought I was like, oh, you know, this is mine, I'm I'm doing it, you know, doing the thing, was that I was still operating from the same internal set point. I was still the same person, I still had the same identity, I still had the same, you know, conditioning, the same programming. It was still the same person showing up in a new environment, bringing those same old beliefs in. And even though I was taking different actions, I had the same identity. In my brain, it was doing what it was supposed to do, right? Perfectly, on point, keeping me in what felt normal at zero, keeping me where it felt normal. Everything changed when I stopped focusing on what I was doing and started looking at how I saw myself. So, not that strategy isn't important, but I started like paying attention to what was happening inside. What were the thoughts that were coming to me when I was trying to do the things that I knew were going to get me where I wanted to be? So when I started paying attention to the thoughts, started paying attention to the things I was doing throughout the day, the things that I would do without effort, without thinking about it, right? So my habits started paying attention and started questioning like, why do I do it like this? And I started questioning everything that I was doing and started paying attention to my patterns, my habits, my behavior. If this is resonating, make sure you click that follow button. So, what now? Now you know you're stuck, your brain is not helping you in the way that you want it to. So, what do you do? First is don't try to fix it. Don't try to fix it, just notice it. Just pay attention to what's going on. What are your patterns? What are your habits? When you try to do something new, what is the thought that comes to mind? So, okay, I want to start a business. What is that thought? What just happened there? What okay? What is the first initial thought? I want to start a business. I want to, you know, apply for this new job. I want to apply for this new position, I want to try this new technique. What is the first thought that comes into mind? Most of the times we think it's a strategy issue. So we're going to try to implement new funnels. We're going to try to implement a new marketing. Even when we do, it doesn't work. But a lot of times it's how we do it, right? The type of energy we show up with, the type of things we're willing to do. So we might be marketing, but we might not want to fully engage, okay, fully be present because we're scared. We need to see what the outcome is gonna be before we show our true selves. So the next time something good feels uncomfortable, right? Like I want to start a business, and then you start getting all those thoughts that maybe your body is reacting a certain way. Just pause. Just just pause for a second, quiet your mind, and think, is this wrong? Or is it just unfamiliar? Right? Is this something new? Because your your brain treats unfamiliar like danger, it's a threat, even when it's exactly what you want. Once that changes, what used to feel scary starts to feel normal. But I want you to realize every time you try to expand, it's gonna feel scary. It's unknown, it's new territory. The most capable, smartest people aren't stuck because they're missing something. They're stuck because they're still operating from an old version of themselves. And you've already outgrown this version. Your results haven't caught up yet. Not because you're not ready, but because your identity hasn't updated. If this conversation sparks something in you, subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next. And if you're a woman who's been doing everything right but can't seem to break past a certain level, DM me the word stuck on LinkedIn.