"Your Income Keeps Resetting Because Your Identity Hasn't Caught Up | Jeni Jonte

Why does your income keep landing at the same number no matter what you try? Jeni Jonte went from physical therapist and Navy lieutenant commander to identity coach, and she kept hitting the same pattern in her own business: a little growth, then a pullback.

In this episode, Desi and Jeni explore why affirmations don't work when your nervous system rejects them, what your income thermostat is actually set to and who set it, and why the women who keep the money always shift the identity before the revenue shows up.

If you've been stuck at the same level and every strategy feels like throwing spaghetti at the wall, this one will change how you see the problem.

Connect with Jeni Jonte: 

Website: theinnerauthoritycollective.com 

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeni-jonte/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JeniJonte

If this episode sparked something in you, share it with a woman who needs to hear it.

DM me "stuck" if you're doing everything right but can't break past a certain level.

Connect with Desi Batista: 

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/desibatista/ 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DesiBatista 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iamdesibatista 

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@iamdesibatista

1:1 Clarity Call: https://calendly.com/desibatista/30min

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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

If the income expands first and the identity hasn't caught up yet, then usually the income starts to reset.

SPEAKER_00 0:07

Today I'm talking to Jenny Johntay, an identity and nervous system coach. She helps women break through income ceilings by recalibrating what their body believes is safe. In this conversation, we explore why income keeps resetting no matter what strategy you try.

SPEAKER_01 0:21

Take me back to before everything shifted for you and expanded. How was your business and your life at that point?

SPEAKER_02 0:30

Um, I would say moving slowly. I would have small wins, um, a little bit of growth and progress, and then it seemed like it would just taper off and be stagnant for a while, and then there would be another little flush, and then it would just taper off. And um, overall, in life, it was very much the same. It was just, it was inconsistent. It just wasn't producing the type of results or the level that I was envisioning and knew I was perfectly capable of.

SPEAKER_01 1:00

Okay. So, what did a normal week look like for you?

SPEAKER_02 1:04

Um, well, that's a great question. So, trying to balance everything. So, when I, especially in the very beginning, when I first started my coaching business, I was still also trying to see some patients because I did physical therapy before this for 15 years. So, between those two and homeschooling um and just figuring out how to balance all the things of life, it was very hectic. It was exhausting, I would say. And I felt like I wasn't fully winning in all of the different areas. So in general, every week there would be a mix of going to see patients, and then I was also teaching at a homeschool program, and then you know, going to take my kids to all of their activities and different things, and then trying to squeeze in every free moment that I had on the business. So um, in a nutshell, it was exhausting. That's what it was.

SPEAKER_01 1:59

It sounds like it. So when you were under pressure, what was your automatic move? Like controlling everything, trying to prove, withdraw?

SPEAKER_02 2:09

I would say there was definitely a mixture of both. Most of the time, control is my go-to. I want to that is something like releasing and letting go has been one of the hardest parts for me. Um, but yet, funny enough, when I'm able to do that, everything moves so much better, flows so much better, the results are so much better. So, especially in the beginning when I was trying to do all of these different things, if it wasn't quite going the way that I wanted it to, then my automatic response is okay, well, where do I need to push harder? What do I need to do? Like, you know, the masculine energy was coming in and it was like the I have to fix this somehow. And I put it all on me solely. Um, didn't really have that good connection with a source or universe or God, and was just like, it's up to me to make everything happen. So I would definitely say most of the time that's where I went to. And then there were those moments where I was just completely overwhelmed, and then I would just redraw, withdraw, and be like, okay, I can't do it anymore.

SPEAKER_01 3:14

Right. So, what did control look like for you in your business?

SPEAKER_02 3:18

Um, I would say it just turned into like hustle, grind, have to do more. Like it just became pure action. Like, I'm not doing enough. I'm not talking to enough people, I'm not reaching out to enough things, I'm not, you know, in enough places, I'm not posting enough, I'm not doing so. It just turned into mostly into that direction of just what more can I do? Where else can I try to take over control and make sure that it's going the way that it's supposed to be going or I think it should be going?

SPEAKER_01 3:51

Right. So do you remember how that felt in your body?

SPEAKER_02 3:54

Not very good. It felt it felt tense, heavy, um, a lot of stress. And then it would come out, especially towards the kids or my husband, you know, the people closest to me would get the brunt of it because I would be able to put on a face for everybody else. But the exhaustion and overwhelm that my body and my system was feeling would come out when I would lose my temper quickly. I would become very quickly agitated, like I just couldn't take on anymore because I was already putting so much on me to try to make and force everything to happen.

SPEAKER_01 4:35

Right. Was there a moment where you finally realized like you couldn't keep doing it the same way? Like this has something has to change.

SPEAKER_02 4:42

Yes, but I don't think it came in like a like one specific, you know, clear moment. It was kind of over a few months, particularly, um, as I was because I'm constantly studying and researching and learning all the time, and there was this thing that just kept coming up. And it was really around this idea that number one was faith. So that was a huge piece for me. And I started realizing just how little, if any, that I had faith in myself or in the universe or God, and the ability for the universe to provide the things that I needed, right? And that I was searching for and asking for and hoping. Um, so that was probably the biggest thing. And when that theme just kept coming up, and then these ideas of like release and letting go and detaching and understanding like how to make this happen in a way that is, you know, bringing in the feminine energy in addition to the masculine energy and having a balance that you're not just like pushing hard all the time. So I can be a little bit of a knucklehead sometimes, and I need to hear things a lot before it like really starts to click. And I'm like, okay, I get the picture now. So it probably took a few months of this just constantly coming up to me. And then I was like, okay, something needs to change. I can't keep operating the way that I am.

SPEAKER_01 6:15

So okay, so it took some time. Now you mentioned release. What is what does that look like for you when you say um you had to learn how to release and let go?

SPEAKER_02 6:25

Yeah. Um, in general terms, I would say like the letting go of the outcome. So I have an idea, and and I've been like this most of my life. I'm like, I want these things to happen in this way, right? Like I see what I want. I think it needs to go in this exact order in order to get there. And then I tend to just kind of push and try to force it to happen. So what I was noticing when it came to the business, that wasn't working out so well. I'm like, okay, I need to try something different here because it's not going the way I want it to. Um, it's causing things in my life then to be postponed because it's not going on my timeline of how exactly I wanted it to happen. So I had to learn how to let go. So I still have like my big vision. I still have my end result goal and where I know I'm heading because I can feel it like in my heart with every, you know, part of my being. But I have to realize that the universe can see much more than I can. They can see much further out than my little perspective is able to understand. So I have to trust that I'm taking the right aligned steps and that everything else outside of me is somehow coming together to make all of my little goals work in the way that I want it to. So, in that form, that's how I have to be able to release and not hold on so tightly, trusting that there is something bigger that is helping to make it happen.

SPEAKER_01 8:09

Okay. So, was there a belief that you had to change before anything externally changed for you?

SPEAKER_02 8:16

I would say there was several, but what I have come to understand is that our beliefs are very, very important along with our thoughts. And before I would have called myself more of like a mindset coach than anything, but I've begun to see some of the limitation in that. So beliefs to me are a little bit more surface level, and then below that is like expectations, and then below that is assumptions. And those are derived from our identity and our nervous system set point, which was probably set long before our consciousness was able to understand that. And so when I began to realize how to actually change these things like from the bottom and the root up, then that's when stuff started to change. And that's when I could actually, you know, state a new belief and my system didn't reject it right away because I was finding I would try to say things, you know, like using different affirmations and mindset work to try to force myself to believe something different. But my body and my system was like, no, we don't actually believe or accept that. And so I would feel like anxiety when I would say certain statements like, I don't know, money flows to me constantly and consistently in large amounts, or something like that, or like, you know, I'm so happy and grateful now that I'm earning a hundred thousand dollars a month, like all of these different things that people would say to say. And I was kept trying to affirm it and change my beliefs on a surface level. And then when I realized what my system was actually doing and how it was, it was smarter than I thought it was, like I could just override this by just saying the words. And it was like, no, you actually can't. And so then I had to reset and understand how to do that from the root level, and now I can implant and new beliefs just kind of come automatically from the new identity and nervous system set point.

SPEAKER_01 10:28

Okay. So one pattern that I've noticed across like high achieving women is that income expands before their identity does. Do you see that?

SPEAKER_02 10:38

Um I actually see a lot of times the opposite. If the income expands first and the identity hasn't caught up yet, then usually the income starts to reset and it doesn't hold. So that's the pattern that I've seen. But when somebody elevates or expands their identity first, and then the income comes, then it's sustainable and then they keep it. But so that's I don't know if I make any sense, but that's another pattern that I tend to see. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:14

No, it makes sense. So you were saying so identity comes before the behavior and everything just kind of flows a little bit better or flows better.

SPEAKER_02 11:23

Yes, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 11:25

So, what do women think is a strategy problem that's actually a self-image or identity problem?

SPEAKER_02 11:32

All of them. So I think a lot of people that I see will go from one strategy to the next and just keep trying different strategies. So if you are somebody who finds yourself like searching out the next strategy, but none of them are like clicking or working, or you can't quite crack the code or whatever it is, and like you might get a little bit of traction and then it falls right back, and then you get a little bit and it falls. So nothing is really doing what you want it to do. It's something internal that is blocking you from being able to achieve what you truly want. Because once things are aligned internal, specifically with the identity and nervous system set points, then it really truly doesn't matter what strategy you use. As long as it's something that you love and you enjoy doing, and then now you hold the belief that whatever you do is going to work, then it will work. Right. So I would say mostly it's when you start seeing that pattern where you try lots of different things, you're throwing spaghetti at the wall, whatever it is, like you just keep trying things, but yet somehow nothing is producing the results that you want. Then it's you it's time to look inside.

SPEAKER_01 12:58

So what would normally like one of your clients per se see before they re realize like, okay, this is this is not working? The strategy is is not it.

SPEAKER_02 13:08

Yeah. Um, I say that pattern for sure. So like it doesn't seem to matter what it is that they try, they end up getting the same results over and over, or maybe they get like a little bit of increase and then it it center it comes right back down again. Um, and then this can be in this the same sort of pattern when it comes to like different domains of life as well. Like if you for your health, for instance, you know, like if you start to get a little bit healthier, you start to eat a little bit better, you start to whatever, and then you go right back down to the same set point. So it's the same kind of pattern that you see in different areas of your life, but particularly when it comes to business, it's it's like you just can't break this that idea of an invisible ceiling or something. So if you're stuck at maybe like 200,000 a year that you are consistently making, and your goal is like 300,000. But you every time you start to get above that, something happens and it can be very subtle too. Like typically it's our nervous system kicking in to say, this is not what we are, you know, programmed for, this is not what we're set for. So whether it's good or not, we see it as unsafe and we're gonna bring you back down. But it can do it in these really sneaky ways that you don't even recognize. It sounds illogical, or like, well, that just that's just what happened, right? Because uh you made a decision and it didn't quite pan out, or you know, you had a hired somebody and it turned out to be a bad hire and it didn't really work the way you thought it was going to. So, like all of these little things that start coming up, um, that is generally what I see.

SPEAKER_01 14:57

Okay. Have you noticed any limiting beliefs that you can trace back maybe to their childhood or present moments or life experiences that have led them to kind of keep limiting themselves or stay in a box?

SPEAKER_02 15:11

Yeah, I think there's so many. There's so many. I was just having a conversation with someone the other day, and she was explaining how just recently she's starting to have these ideas of being able to make more. But as soon as the thought of making more money than her parents comes up, she physically feels like almost sick, like just so tight, so tense, like just the anxiety, the fear, like all of these things from this idea of I shouldn't make more than my parents did. Right. So that's just one example. But I think for a vast majority of people, we grew up at a time that was very different. Like for me, my my parents collected and saved all the quarters that they had all year round from change. And that was what we tried to use to take a little vacation each year, right? So it's like this entire mindset around money, especially, I feel like is incredibly limiting. And our experiences early on in life are very formative in bringing that to light. And, you know, different statements such as like money is the root of all evil, and it's greedy to want more, and you should just be happy with what you have. And, you know, all of these different ideas leave us feeling guilty for even desiring to have wealth or be able to live an abundant life, which is actually what we're here to do. So we have this complete background idea, and and it does cause extreme limitations. But again, like it's not not just our beliefs are set around that, but but that's what our identity and our nervous system are calibrated to. And this is why we have to elevate those, which is then in turn going to change the beliefs and allow us to receive greater amounts with ease.

SPEAKER_01 17:13

When someone finally recognizes the pattern, how do you help them break it and move through that?

SPEAKER_02 17:20

Yeah. So I actually have like a whole little method that it turns out worked out beautifully with my last name. So it's just the Jante method. But we start with that junction mapping, which is looking at in great detail all of these pieces, right? So understanding exactly where you are now, recognizing all the different patterns because you really need to understand where you're at, where it came from, how you got here, how it has affected results throughout your life to this point before you can start to move on. Um, and then we go into the origin foundation for O, and that is establishing like a very set, very firm foundation in order to expand on. Because if you just try to like leap into something new and elevated, chances are if you haven't built a foundation, then it's not going to stay, right? Just like if you're building a building or you're trying to renovate the upper floors, but you didn't address a crack in the foundation, then it nothing that you do is going to matter, right? So that part is really, really important. So we go there and then we go into the nervous system recalibration, and that's where we start to actually move the identity and the nervous system together. So instead of like this idea, which is what I used to teach people too, was to just, you know, envision who you need to be and then just become that person. And so I just kept seeing people falling back and falling back and not being able to fully just leap into this new version. So when I understood that and started to actually gradually recalibrate it to a new level, then it started to stay. So that is a big part of that section. And then we go into um threshold expansion. So that is increasing our threshold or our capability to receive essentially. So, like our identity capacity, our nervous system capacity, our receiving set point, because as I mentioned before, so many of us really have a hard time actually receiving. So, and at least maybe it's just the people that I attract because that was an issue for me too for so very long. Um, and then we go into embodied permanence, where now we figure out how we can make this sustainable and permanent, and then we understand now what to do the next time around because we're always expanding and growing, right? So if you go from this point to this point, and then in a couple of years, you're like, oh, now I'm recognizing it's time for the next expansion. Now it's self-sustaining. You know what to do, you know how to get yourself to the next level. So in a nutshell, that is the process that I take people on.

SPEAKER_01 20:08

What does it look like when they're expanding and their nervous system is um kind of trying to push them back?

SPEAKER_02 20:15

That's when those patterns are going to start coming up. So the tricky part is understanding and finding your individual signs that that's what's happening. Because some people, like the person I mentioned before, feel it very much in their body, right? They can sense it, they can feel the tightening, the almost sickening sensation. And it's pretty obvious. Whereas other people, it's not going to be that obvious. So once you get in touch with yourself and you understand what's actually happening, now we can address it a lot better than when we're just trying to guess at what is going on with your body and how is it responding when you try to elevate to another level.

SPEAKER_01 21:01

Okay. So what would be the difference between a woman that breaks through and one that stays stuck at the same level?

SPEAKER_02 21:10

So most likely the person who is able to break through and maintain it, that's the other piece, that they don't end up falling back because our nervous system can tolerate outside of our set point for a period of time, but usually within a couple of weeks, couple months at the most, it'll start to say, okay, no, we this is this is not sustainable. I can't hold this. Um, so for that person who's actually able to break through and stay there, they have either just done it on their own unconsciously, um, which is beautiful and amazing. And I have met some of those people, and they are able to just like jump to the next level without even thinking twice, and they just keep going. And like that is great, but that's not the majority. And then the other people who just end. Up staying stuck. They have there's something inside, they are not calibrated for the level that they desire. So that's why their results just keep going back or they just keep staying at that set point. So what I have found to be the root cause the vast majority of time is the identity set point because that's what everything is calibrated around.

SPEAKER_01 22:25

So is that common for someone to expand and then retract back to safety or their normal patterns?

SPEAKER_02 22:32

Yes, I think so. At least I have seen it a lot.

SPEAKER_01 22:35

Right. So when they're trying to shift identity, what does that look like? Did they just decide this is what I want? Or how does that look?

SPEAKER_02 22:44

So it's a little bit different than what I would have taught previously, which was just get a vision of what you want, and then who do you need to be to be the person that already has it, and then create that person? So instead of like creating someone new, a lot of what I teach is much more around remembering like the truth of who you actually are and understanding it. So even if you were to look at your vision and the type of person that you need to be in order to be someone who already has it, chances are those qualities are already shown up in your life, some way, some form or another, right? We have been confident in something, we have been self-assured in something, we have shown up, you know, with I can't even think of words right now, but we've shown up at some point in that manner. So instead of trying to like recreate something that's completely different, we're trying to remember and bring to light, and then now make that the constant operating system of who we actually are and understanding ourselves better. So there is a ton of internal work that goes into it, um, especially in those beginning stages, and reconnecting with yourself and the truth of who you are. And then it makes everything else so much easier.

SPEAKER_01 24:17

Right. When they're trying to expand, do you think that there's something they're trying to protect, um, whether consciously or unconsciously, where they can't expand because they're trying to almost protect either where they're at or the little box that they're in, or yeah, I think I think that is true.

SPEAKER_02 24:34

And and it could be a lot of different things. Um and it may not even be protecting within themselves, or they think they're protecting someone else. So, like again, with the example of the girl thinking that she cannot make more than her parents. So is that protecting her, or is that her trying to protect her parents? Right. So it could be I and it's not again, so our nervous system's job is to keep us safe, right? It's not it doesn't care about vision, it doesn't care about goals or expansion. Like its number one job is to keep you where you are, and wherever it is calibrated to right now, at one point in your life, it served a purpose. So it was created and calibrated there because it was doing its job, and that was you know the level that you needed at that time for the environment that you were in. So, in a sense, it's kind of trying to keep you there, right? Keep you in that spot because if you expand out of that, that is not what it knows to be true of who you are. And so I would say that is essentially what it's trying to keep you safe.

SPEAKER_01 25:58

You mentioned earlier that um when they're trying to shift identity, they just well, part of it is remembering who you were or who you are. What does that look like?

SPEAKER_02 26:09

Um, so it's a whole it's quite a process, but generally speaking, so looking at times, like for me when I was not having the results that I wanted in the beginning, and then I would look back and be like, okay, well, where in my life have I had what I would consider a success? Right. And so I would look back at times in my life where I did something that, you know, some people might have thought was good, like graduating sumukum la re with my doctorate of physical therapy. I'm like, okay, well, so clearly I can show up and I can have success in a space like that, or being like a lieutenant commander of the Navy, like, okay, well, I can show up and I can have success in something like that. Or like I did figure competitions and swimming and like travelings. I'm like, okay, so there are moments in my life where I have shown up with confidence, trust in myself. I didn't second guess. I didn't, you know, wonder if I was capable or good enough to do these different things. So why, when it comes to this, do I have all these worries and doubts and fears that I'm actually good enough to do that? So translating some of these other things and characteristics that we have shown in places in our lives and now bringing it into the new thing that we're doing, into our business, into whatever our endeavor is to bring us to that vision and then making that be our standard operating. Like this is who we already are. We're not making something up, we're not trying to force ourselves to be more confident, you know, we're just bringing out the parts of us that already exist and translating it to this.

SPEAKER_01 27:59

Okay, that makes sense. So when they're trying, um, when they're remembering, is there a point where they where everything clicks and they're like, okay, I can actually move forward, I can do this?

SPEAKER_02 28:10

Generally, yes. I think everybody is a little bit different. Some people are like me, and that process comes over a couple of months. And then other people, it's like this instant moment of clarity and understanding, and they're able to just move forward then once they start to get all these pieces and this foundation, and then they're like, oh, okay. And then they can step right into the next stage. Um, so again, each person is different, but definitely there is at least a moment of clarity that comes.

SPEAKER_01 28:46

That moment of clarity does it normally show up in business? Does it show up in money, in family? How does it show up?

SPEAKER_02 28:53

So that's one of the most beautiful things that I see because people come to me with for different things. Um but for example, if they come for business particularly, and for an income level, then they start to do this work. And the beautiful part is that it cascades into all domains of their life. So even if, you know, they start to see the income change and then they're able to sustain it, and things are going along a much better trajectory. And at the same time, now they have a better relationship with their kids or their spouse, and they're feeling healthier and having more energy and they have more flow. And they so it's like this amazing cascading effect that when you start to do this internal work, it just goes to all areas of your life, which I think is probably one of the most rewarding aspects, in my opinion.

SPEAKER_01 29:51

Amazing. Okay, last question. If you had one minute to speak directly to a woman, to a woman whose identity hasn't caught up with her ambition yet, what would you say?

SPEAKER_02 30:04

I would say do not give up because if you have a vision, it's there for a reason, it was put there for a reason, you are absolutely meant to experience it. So if you feel like you're not getting there for one reason or another, start by going within and then seeing if we can make the change that way.

SPEAKER_01 30:25

Beautiful. So the real shift isn't strategy, it's identity, safety, and meaning. And once those updates, success becomes inevitable, right?

SPEAKER_02 30:34

Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 30:36

Thank you so much, Jenny. I really appreciate you being here. Where can people find you and connect with your work?

SPEAKER_02 30:42

Yes. So our website is theinterauthoritycollective.com. And then LinkedIn and YouTube is where I'm most active as well. Just at Jenny Jante handle.

SPEAKER_01 30:55

Okay, perfect. I'll make sure to link those below. If this conversation sparks something in you, subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next. And if you're a woman who's been doing everything right but can't seem to break past a certain level, DM me the word stuck on LinkedIn.